ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

I was going to do a post about our 4th of July, but I think I'll save it for tomorrow. I've been very emotional today, and I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm stressed. Maybe I haven't had enough "me" time lately. Maybe I'm PMS-ing, although I shouldn't be yet. Anyways, on to my ramblings. I hope they are understandable.

It's been one of those days. I'm sure every mother has them, or at least I hope they do. Because if they don't, then I'm a complete mess! Kate and I had a rough morning. She wasn't obeying, I was getting angry, she was being defiant, I was getting even angrier...you get the picture. To top it off, my mother-in-law was here. This is not a bad thing. I love my mother-in-law. But you have to know her. I don't think I've ever seen this woman get angry. She has more patience with children than a rosebush has thorns. She knows how to deal with Kate better than I do. And it drives me nuts! I should know how to handle my own child, RIGHT???

Kate is SO much better for her grandma then she is for me. So after Terry left, I loaded the girls into the car and headed to the Library feeling like a complete failure of a mother/wife. Why don't I know how to make Kate obey? Why doesn't Kate listen to me? Why can't I get anything done around the house, I only have 2 kids, my friend has 8 and she manages to have a clean house, why can't I do it? The list goes on and on and on.

I was feeling that whatever I do, it's not "enough." My house is never clean enough. My kids are never behaved well enough. I'm not self-disciplined enough. I'm not skinny enough. I'm not spiritually strong enough. I can't teach my kids to obey enough. I don't have enough patience. I never get enough done during the day.

Anyways, on with the story. I went to the library, Andie in the stroller, Kate walking beside me. We headed to the computer catalog. I looked up "parenting." Bound and determined to become a better mother, I found several entries in the catalog. Now I had to find the right section. It's in the non-fiction section, up a level in the "quiet study" area. On the elevator ride up I explained to Kate that this area of the library is for people who are doing homework (a term she understands), so we needed to be really quiet. I thought I had explained it well enough for a 3 year old to understand, right? Guess again. As soon as I located the parenting books, Kate started running down the aisle yelling, loudly. Ahhhhhhh! I could feel the eyes of everyone trying to study staring at me, thinking, "Can't this woman control her child?!?!?"

After chasing Kate down, picking her up, and placing her on the stroller's cup holder area, I glanced through the parenting book section, grabbed a few that looked relevant, and quickly headed back to the down elevator. I selected a few children's books for Kate, checked out, and left the library as quickly as I could with two young children, feeling rather embarrassed by the scene that had just taken place.

At home, I fed the girls lunch and laid them down for naps. Then, I threw in a load of laundry, and looked at the books I had hastily grabbed from the "parenting" section. One of the books happened to be written by Jo Frost, aka. the Supernanny. I sat down and opened the book thinking that it too, was going to make me feel like a complete failure of a mother. This is what I read.

"One day not so long ago, when I was nanny to two little girls, we all went out to the park. It was a hot day and the girls were wearing bandannas to keep the sun off their heads. After we had been playing for awhile, a woman came over to me. 'How did you manage to do that?' she asked in amazement. 'How did you get them to keep their bandannas on?' I looked at her and lowered my voice to a whisper. "Superglue. Just a little line across the forehead.' Judging by her horrified expression, I think she believed me for a fraction of a second. Then she realized I was joking.*"

At the end of the introduction came the best part. The explanation of the asterisk at the end of the paragraph.

"*...So how do you get a child to keep her hat on? It's easy. When she takes it off, you tell her to put it back on. She takes it off. You tell her to put it back on. She takes it off. You tell her to put it back on. She takes it off. You tell her to put it back on. She takes it off. You tell her to put it back on. She takes it off. You tell her to put it back on..."

So, I've decided ENOUGH ALREADY! I'm going to quit comparing myself to other moms. I'm going to enjoy my kids, try to be the best mom and wife I can be, and that, my dear friends, will have to be enough.